24 September 2008

Parent/Teacher Conference

Today is the first session of our fall Parent/Teacher Conference. This means that I won't be home tonight until after 8 tonight and after 7:30 tomorrow. Teachers bi-annually squish 3 work days into 2. The life-saving benefit is no school on Friday.

I must endure 4 hours today and 3 hours tomorrow in a state of almost boredom. Almost. Being a Special Educator, I don't join the teacher mass in the gym where the entire faculty (minus 5) meets. In the gym there are masses of parents and students lined up in front of the teachers they want to see. Little children are often not left at home as their parents make the conference a family affair. These little children are tortured by their parents who make them sit still while mom and dad scrutinize the teacher and their middle schoolers. Some of the little ones manage to make an escape and freely run about the gym until restrictions are once again imposed.

The Middle School Student suffers torture of a different sort if their folks make them accompany them to the conference. If the student is a polite, well-behaved, academically appropriate student, the torture is easy to endure. If the student is the opposite of the aforementioned lot, watch out!

Parent: Why are your grades so bad?
Student: I don't know.
Parent: Well, are you turning in your work?
Student: Work?
Parent: Yes, work? Obviously not.
Student: We have work? We're supposed to turn it in?
Parent: Argh! Why aren't you turning in your work?
Student: I don't know.
Parent: Is it in your locker? On your dresser at home? In your black hole of a back pack?
Student: I don't know.

Is it any wonder this student is feeling tortured at the conference? Is it any wonder that the teacher is feeling a little tortured listening to the exchange? Heck, the parents probably feel tortured themselves.

The above sketch occurs in my classroom more than I would like to admit. The only difference is that there aren't 300 people possibly listening in to the conversation. In my room, it's just me, the student, and the parent(s).

Why do we put ourselves through this twice every school year?

Bill Cosby said it best and he said it in two words: Brain damage!

1 comment:

Julia said...

Maybe you could preface the annoying "I don't know" responses with a great question like "What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" They could even have their choice of African or European. Do you think their answers would change?